Lost in translation.

I am walking a road that I thought I understood, having watched others before me travel it. I even foolishly tried to help. I didn't get it then. Boy, do I ever get it now.

If I ever tried to "help" you, then I offer my sincere apology. I was clueless. I am sorry.

Let me now help those who have not been here before. This is not an exhaustive list. I am certain that this is the first of many posts on this and similar topics. I am sure you will be able to guess what stage of grief I am in as you read onward. I don't mean to offend anyone, I just need to get my feelings out there somewhere so that I can process it all.

First, words. Of any kind. Do not say them. Insert smiley face here. All we really need are hugs and I'm sorrys, and the I love yous. The occasional it sucks is okay too. If your words start with anything else, even remotely sounding like advice-do us a favor and stop yourself. You see, we who are grieving are not rational, and when you try to "fix" us or the situation...well, it just makes us want to scream at you. It isn't that we think you don't care. We know that you care and genuinely want to help. It's just that it doesn't. It just gets lost in translation.

Your presence, your fixing a meal,  a note that simply says I love you, sending a gift card to help with an expense or just to bless, those things are lifelines. We cling to any practical help. It makes us feel like we are not forgotten. Which leads to the next point.

We just want to know that you won't forget. That you will remember our plight, remember the person lost. If we are grieving, the person we are grieving was very important to us. They made a huge imprint on us, both positive and sometimes negative. We know that daily life goes on, but sometimes we just need the struggle/loss/person/or the mere fact we got out of bed that day to mean something to someone else.  'Nuff said on that topic.

Thirdly, pray, pray, and pray again. We need them. We need Him. We treasure the things we know to be true, but we are going through difficult moments. So please, pray for us to get through them with grace and hope.

Lastly for now, be patient with us. You might not understand why we do what we do or say what we say, like this post for instance, just be patient with us and try to love us anyway. We just need love and patience to carry us to the next place of our journey.  

Although I used the collective "we" in this post, I guess I can't speak for everyone. I do think there are some universal issues, but I suppose I am guilty of trying to help.  We seemed a gentler pronoun.  Feelings and emotions are funny things, they aren't rational either. Thanks for reading.                                                    
                            

It's My Bethday and I'll Sing if I Want to

Let's start off by saying that this post is technically going to be out of chronological order, but that may only end up mattering to me and my OCD self and no one else.  Yesterday was a book signing at a Lifeway store in Franklin and a Borders in Nashville.  It was by Beth Moore for the release of her new book. For those who may not know, I am more than a little crazy about the Beth.  That should be a post for another time, but suffice it to say, that God has used her in mighty ways over the last 14 years to help me really grow in Him and more in love with Him.  That makes her very important to me.

My friend Donna works at the Lifeway store and had kept me in the loop about the craziness that was expected at their store and, in fact, the workers were not even going to get to meet Beth. That seems so wrong, but don't get me started.  She also told me that Beth was being whisked away right at the end of the signing.  I did some investigating (stalking) and saw on Beth's blog that her entire book tour schedule was posted.  It seemed that our dear Beth had a second signing scheduled for later that day at the Nashville Borders bookstore.  I called said store and was informed that they really had no idea who Beth was (insert shock and outrage here), but that if you get there when they open, they will hand you these lovely little number slips that save you a place in line.  Yes, yes they do.  So, a decision had to be made:  go to Lifeway in the wee hours with blankets and camp chairs for a 20 sec. relationship with Beth or be at Borders at 9 a.m., be assured of a place in line in a less publicized setting and hope for a one minute relationship with Beth.  We chose wisely.

My dear friend, Celeste and I formulated our plan.  Any good plan begins with a Starbucks skinny hot chocolate, no whip.  Everyone knows that.  So, she picked me up, in her convertible, and we were off to Starbucks and Borders.  We got there at 8:30 and decided since it was cold, to wait in the car.  We had a bird's eye view of the door.  We waited and then kept seeing women start to walk by the door.  I was like a dog sniffing a bone every time someone got close.  I finally could stand it no longer and decided that since we were early, we should also be number 1.  I can be a tad overzealous and competitive at times.  So we got out of the car and stood at the door.  As soon as we did, this man walked up and asked if we were there for Beth.  We assured him that we were and he told us that he was as well and had driven 2 and a half hours to be there.  Hi, Andrew.  Now, because he did that, I should have given him my spot in line, right?  No, sorry Andrew, just could not give up the chance to be first.  They opened the door and just like that, we were at the customer service desk receiving our blue tickets and MINE WAS NUMBER 1!!!!  They were blue, but I felt like I was Charlie and just found the last golden ticket.  Delight, picture taking, and texting ensued.

Next on our agenda was a hearty breakfast at Nashville's famous Pancake Pantry.  It is a landmark in the city, known for it's sweet servers with gray hair and names like Mary, fabulous pancakes and country stars like Vince Gill being regulars.  One of my quirks is that when people tell me they have been out to a restaurant, I always want to know what they have eaten.  It stems from my great love of all things food and cooking.  So, Celeste had the Carribean pancakes topped with pecans, bananas and coconut and I had the bacon and cheese omelette which came with buttermilk pancakes.  Delish.  We had a wonderful time sitting and talking and we realized that we had so much time that we decided to go to Lifeway and check out the scene.

When we got to the store, it had a very festive atmosphere, coffee and smoothie samples, smiling workers and lots of women.  The line was very organized but wound all around the store and they told us that it was an hour and a half long at the point we came in.  We talked to Donna and gave her a number for the Borders signing so that when she was done at Lifeway, she could come and join us.  I was determined that she get her moment with Beth.  In many of the years that I have led or participated in Beth's bible studies, Donna has been a vital part of the majority of them.  It was fun to see Celeste enjoying the time, because it was the first time she had ever seen Beth in person.  We lingered there for a little bit, took some pictures and then decided to head back to Nashville so that no accidents or car trouble would keep us from our appointed delight.

Imagine our joy when we got back to Borders and saw that the tickets were only up to number 12!  So far it was looking like a very intimate little gathering.  It was also 90 minutes until the signing was to begin, so we knew that anything could happen.  We ventured upstairs to the signing table and there were about 30 chairs set up.  Andrew was back from his lunch and so we sat and talked and took pictures by the table. We had a good time talking to a worker there named Reagan.  He had the coolest vibe about him and the most incredible dreds I have ever seen.  He let me take his picture! 

As time passed, there were a few ladies who came in and we all became fast friends as we shared our love for the Beth and what God has done through those wonderful studies.We were amazed at how few women were there, but selfishly, we were glad.  One lady who came in, brought with her, Miesta Moose.  If you read Beth's blog, then you know about him.  But for those who do not:  various blog readers started bringing this little stuffed moose with them to different Beth Moore events and posting pictures of him, kind of like a Flat Stanley.  So, of course we posed with the moose.

It must be pointed out that this signing was for a book that Beth has just released about insecurity in women and how to overcome it and they set up the book table right next to the Adult Romance Book Section!!!  You can't make this stuff up, folks.  Seriously.  

By the time 2:30 came, there were only about 30 to 40 of us there and then she arrived.  She is the cutest thing.  What fun we had.  At her other signings throughout the book tour, she was so busy that she could not pose for pictures, personalize more than one book and often could not even take time for hugs.  Sad day.  BUT, because we had such an intimate group, about 60 people over all, but a core of about 25 who stayed, she posed and posed and hugged and hugged and it was such a joy.  She fussed over Andrew, as he was the only man in our group and called him "Teacher's Pet."  It was so sweet and such an encouragement to him.  Donna had made it from Lifeway and got her picture and hug.  Celeste and I just basked in watching how she interacted with everyone there.  Beth even talked to my friend, Nikki, on the phone!  You need to go read Nikki's post about a recent trip we took together.  It seems that I may never get mine written.

When the line was finished, apart from the occasional walk up, she perched herself on the table and had a time of question and answers.  We had two hours, one where she was talking and signing and telling us a story or two about the tour and one where she just focused on the Q & A and chatting.  At the end of her time, she had a prayer with us that was so sweet.  What a Divinely orchestrated day of refreshment and delight, especially for Donna, Celeste and me.  God gives such sweet gifts.

The Best Laid Plans.....

Ok, so big dreams of blog world.  Huge, wonderful weekend last weekend.  Cannot wait to share and then:  Sickness sets in.  I came home from a blessed weekend, a weekend that is truly blogworthy and then I got sick.  All of the family has had what I would term a mild cold.  Frustrating for them, but manageable.  I thought mine, would naturally follow the pattern.  Not so much.  This feels like a black plague hovering over me.  So, tonight as I am snuggled in my bed, with my sweet dogs and my heated blanket, the only thoughts I can form are pretty mindless.  I watched Miss America tonight while flipping back to Sleepless In Seattle during commercials, because if seeing SIS one time is nice, seeing it 3,456,722 times is even better.

Let me explain, I have been watching pageants my whole life.  Now, I will say, much of that time was for the comic relief because the cheese dripped so well. Remember the state costumes?  Priceless.  Then a few years ago, the pageants became so PC and professionally done, that much of the joy was removed, yet I still watch.  It is a compulsion.

Let me further say that I grew up in and around people in Hollywood and the movie and TV biz.  (Another post for another time)  What is pertinent to this post is that I love movies of all kinds (except gross).  If I love a movie, I can watch it over and over again, and if I catch it on TV, I can usually get drawn in no matter the point at which I find it.  So, here are some of my faves:  Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, Pretty Woman, Die Hard and Die Harder, The Patriot, Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhoood, Return to Me, Miss Congeniality, The Fugitive, Air Force One and The Wedding Singer.  This is just a start. So, do you do that too, and if so, what are some of your favorites?  Or, are you a watch and move on person? 

Finally, and what else is new!!!

I decided about a year ago to finally begin a blog. Too late to be cool, but I thought I would do it anyway. I am never at the forefront of technology. Well, since procrastination and perfectionism go so well together, I wouldn't post until I had the Perfect First Post. So, all this time later, I am diving in with what is arguably, the best beginning ever in blogdom. It is this post or nothing. Hopefully, if you stick with me, they will become more intriguing.

You know how everyone sends those "All About Me" emails? Well, I thought I would post something like that, just to get us started and help you know a little more about me and my crazy.

I love movies and TV. Old movies, classics, romantic comedy. DO NOT like scary or gross.

I love to cook, all things cooking, cookbooks, cooking shows, cooking and eating. I am the wife that loves getting kitchen stuff for birthday and anniversary gifts.

I long to live in the country, with the space and ability to keep, entertain, feed and take care of whomever would need it. (the horse would be the cherry on the top)

I have the spiritual gift of sarcasm. Do not try this at home.

I want desperately to be the wife, mother, woman and friend that God desires me to be while constantly feeling like I will never make it.

I was totally in love with Shaun Cassidy as a kid. My mom arranged for me to meet him at a taping of a TV show and I thought I might never recover from the delight!

I am very sentimental and can get ugly cry face very quickly. It is not pretty.

I don't like Seinfeld. I know, please don't judge me.

I would love to write anything...a cookbook, bible study, book, etc.

I am not a good starter (exhibit A--this blog) and an even lousier finisher, so don't look for the above any time soon.

I adore my husband and really am amazed that he asked.

I think sweats should be the national uniform of everything.

I would let Trinny and Susannah make me over and do whatever they wanted to me.

I love to be with people and I love to be alone.

I was blond until I was 6.

My accent morphs to reflect the accent of they people I am talking to, but generally, I speak hick.

I have no real tolerance for fake or inauthentic people.

I miss my grandmother everyday.

I have a sick obsession with pens. Carries over from childhood and the love of school supplies. I love them, can't get enough of them, but if I have a set of pens and one or more gets lost, I must get the set all over again. It is sick really, I must have the complete set.

I was baptized on Jan. 8th, 1988. Elvis' birthday. Thank you, thank you very much.

I hope you will join me on this journey of self discovery and I hope to learn from you too!!!!